01.08.2023 Concentration

How to balance concentration and memory? How to be in the moment without losing the past? That’s what it feels like sometimes. When I try to concentrate on being present at all times, I feel like I’m losing something. I have always daydreamt and had thoughts not necessarily relevant to my present moment. Such activity is an important part of me, of my being. It’s an extremely strong habit. For good reason: it has sustained my identity for a very long time. It has lead me to many thoughts, ideas, emotions that have been crucial to my development, to my being and becoming. So when I try to be present, only present, to practice the art of concentration, I feel like I’m losing something. I feel like I’m starting the process of losing a part of me. Even if I’m not anywhere close to that point, whenever and wherever it might be, just the thought is enough to make me mentally recoil sometimes. The ability to concentrate on the present has obvious benefits, but so does just thinking: about the past, present and future. And I have been doing the latter for a much longer time now. But what do I want to achieve by learning to concentrate more? Why is it important to me? What creation of meaning will make me follow through? I want to be able to be. By myself. Without thinking: about myself, others, what has happened to me or others, what will happen to me or others. I want to be able to do this because: “Indeed, to be able to concentrate means to be able to be alone with oneself - and this ability is precisely a condition for the ability to love” (E. Fromm, The Art of Loving)